#had an IBS attack yesterday that was my worst in years | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fraener · 10 months ago

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2/7/24

had very hard week just now...h got sick and it freaked me out so bad that i made myself sicker than him with worry. my anxiety absolutely consumed me, it began last weekend with a series of small anxiety attacks that i managed just fine with and then a terrible multi day panic attack from h getting sick. my ibs was the worst its ever been and i felt so awful i couldnt calm down no matter what i did. i kept having recurring dreams of evading getting sick and then just having to accept it was goin to happen to me...i wanted to believe it was a dream drought and they werent premonitory but in the end i got sick too! it was such a cathartic experience i still cant fully believe it happened...it was physically unpleasant for sure but h took such good care of me i honestly had an amazing time. i didnt get even as sick as he did with it but i was sick for a bit longer like usual, somehow i get through things low and slow these days whereas he gets through then fast and hard. i think today my stomach is finally all the way back to normal. im glad i didnt actually throw up but at the same time theres a lot of parts of me that are really disappointed it didnt happen because it would have been extra cathartic if it had. from this ive managed to get a little bit of peace. im still feeling bothered from my ibs episode, therapist says i have to go to the doctor about it and im sort of frightened to do that. not only because im scared theyll find something, but also because the imaging procedures are often unpleasant and scary...still struggling with pttm and d/m trying to override everything. but i had a flash of wanting to draw something for the first time in over a year which was huge, and while i was sick i felt full of excitement and freedom, and yesterday evening i walked for a long time to the northernmost point in the twin bays and the sky felt so broad and i felt so calm like i did in the field behind the radio station on the island or home at my grandmas in co... big sense of peace right around the corner. im changing little by little and coming back to myself after a long time. i saw white salal and pink hazel flowers and the osoberry and snowdrops and witch hazel and red flowering currant are all blooming now. the chorus frogs are croaking. spring is frighteningly early this year but for some reason i feel ok about it. im really nervous itll be terribly terribly hot this summer, like the first summer i lived in this apartment. i suppose all i have to do is wait and see. it would be poetic for the last summer to be like the first one. im graduating this summer, i dont know what to do with myself next. im trying not to think of it being so big and empty on the other side of that. somehow i still never got to do all of the things i wouldve liked to here, not like in high school where i managed everything i wanted and more. ive been having dreams about r again recently, i suppose hes on my mind. i saw him from afar a couple of times in the last week or so. the runes and cards say we have some kind of unknown relationship that isnt approachable yet but is bubbling and forming under the surface in a big way, but undetermined in its gestation because neither of us know what we want from one another. another thing to wait and see about. i want to let go and paint again.

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porcelaintoybox23 · 3 years ago

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I’m sorry, Sk8 the Infinity has me heated.

Basing an entire character’s development on one person is the

Dumbest

Trope

Fucking

Ever!

Fire Emblem Three Houses, Attack on Titan, and now Sk8 have all been stories to do this that I’ve, for better or worse, got into within a year. (Spoilers ahead)

Characters are not developed if their entire sense of self or the entirety of their improvement is based on one person. It’s lazy and not real development.

None of the lords improve without Byleth, which means the story is forced to stagnate without their presence.

Mikasa, and really all the female characters, have nonexistent growth. Mikasa and Historia hurt my soul with their wasted potential.

And Langa, really every sk8 cast member besides Reki… Do not grow. Langa’s entire sense of self deteriorated when one person left. That’s unhealthy. It’s unhealthy that Langa felt the need to apologize when Reki was jealous. It’s unhealthy that Langa has no other strong connections or an internal motivation. Reki has those connections. He reignites his passion for skating and then makes up with Langa. Langa just dies internally without him.

1/3 of this show is spent on a dumb fight….33%

I am introverted as hell, I normally have one friend at a time. I had a crush on a friend, who I actually connected with, and there was no point where my entire passion and drive disappeared with the end of that friendship. Friendship breakups suck ass, sometimes more than dating breakups. This was not normal or good.

This trope is horrible and fails to give these characters actual agency. Every example I listed have other people in the story who they could connect to without the MC. The travesty of how Dimitri’s arc and route were handled makes me angry for him.

I’m not against the trope of one special person helping a character grow, but there’s a difference between that and completely hinging any growth on said person.

I will now briefly list what I consider to be good examples

Vanitas no Carte: Vanitas and Noé have other people in their lives besides each other. These other characters have/had a positive affect on them. They have unique connections. Vanitas and Noé exist outside of each other. V: Luna, Mikhail, Jeanne, Dante and Amelia even. N: Louis & Domi, Roland and Amelia.

Banana Fish: Ash had other people besides Eiji. Max, Ibe and Shorter were also good influences for Ash. Even Blanca, sort of. While Eiji was “special” Ash had multiple connections. Eiji made bonds with the gang members and his motley crew. He grieves for Shorter, who was his friend.

Devil man Crybaby: Akira had Miki and her family. Ryu is a special case, but the main point of the show was him failing to accept the love everyone offered him.

These other connections don’t have to be people. Let there be internal motivations.

Mikasa has her pride, an unexplored heritage. Historia is the “worst girl in the world” and now queen. Do something.

Dimitri having a total personality change after holding a hand is so dumb. He’s been obsessed with revenge for around 10 years and murdering indiscriminately for 5 after being ousted by a coup.

Langa…you really expect me to believe Langa was a professional level snowboarder only because of companionship? Totally understand why his Dad’s death would sour snowboarding, but companionship doesn’t explain why racing against Shadow rekindled that passion. Internal motivation right there. There were glimpses of this that should’ve existed without Reki. Skateboarding can sour a bit, like with Miya, but that drive should still exist, like with Miya.

I know there are many other stories like this, but these are the most recent I’ve encountered. Especially Sk8, which I just finished yesterday, so that’s why I am more heated with the show.

#sk8 spoilers #sk8 the infinity #sk8 infinity #langa hasegawa #fe3h #fe3h spoilers #Byleth #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #mikasa ackerman #historia reiss #aot #aot spoilers #kinda #story tropes #bad trope

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atakportal · 6 years ago

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